Some Catching Up To Do

I haven't written since March, and it is now nearing the end of May, so I have a lot to catch up on. To be honest, I haven't forgotten to write; I just haven't really felt up to it. We had another adoption fall through. We were chosen by a woman that we know through a friend to adopt her daughter. The baby's name is Zoey, and we were actually able to be up at the hospital when she was born. Rob cut the cord, and we held her moments after birth. Zoey was born on April 3, 2010, and we were all set to go up to the hospital and start paperwork so that we could bring Zoey home from the hospital. However, as quickly and as wonderfully as things came together they fell apart. The birth father and his mother didn't want to agree to the adoption. There are many factors and reasons why, and the whole thing is really hard. I don't want to explain everything on here.

For a while we were holding on to hope that things might still work out in the end. Things came together so perfectly. It really seemed as thought Heavenly Father was guiding things because that was how they were supposed to be, but we don't always understand everything. And sometimes understanding comes much later than expected. For now, we pray for Zoey, her mom, and all of her family.

We aren't sure if adoption is going to happen for us, at least not for a while. We felt like adoption was something that our Heavenly Father wanted our family to pursue, but things haven't been smooth sailing with it so far. We didn't really expect it to be smooth sailing, but we didn't know it would be this difficult either. We decided to work with the Children's Division in our state, and while it is a great program it has also been very difficult to work with. We have been licensed with the state for over a year now, and we have been working with the state for about 18 months. We haven't had a placement, and we haven't had a whole lot of profiles sent to us either. We have now put our file with the state on hold because we would like to move. We have our house on the market, and we aren't sure whether or not we want to work with the state even if we move or if we end up staying here. We'd really love to work with a private agency, but they are SO expensive. It could be years before we could afford that.

We are thinking about having another biological child. That would be wonderful. Our hearts still need some time to heal from all we've gone though, and we are praying about it a lot to know what is right for us. We truly felt drawn to adoption back when we started the process, and if that path was meant for us we don't want to give up on it too soon. We would be so happy to bring a child into the world biologically too. We just want to know which path is right for us. Maybe we went on the path toward adoption because we were supposed to gain a sense of understanding and empathy for others? If that is the case then we surely have. Maybe this was supposed to open our eyes to how wonderful adoption can be? It has surely done that as well. Maybe we are meant to adopt later in our lives? We don't know, but one thing is for sure; we are not sorry that we started the process. We aren't sorry that we learned about Jeremiah and Zoey and the other children we came to hear about. Each one has touched our hearts.

Another new thing for us is that I graduated with my Master's Degree in Professional Counseling last week- May 14th. It feels great to have accomplished that goal. I have started applying for counseling jobs. I'd really like to find something part time, but we'll see. The job market is tough, esp. for beginning counselors who still need to be supervised for 3,000 hours. I know the Lord will provide a way for me to use my counseling skills, and I will either find a job or I will start working on my PhD. :)

The kids are getting ready to start summer too. Carissa had her last day this past Wednesday. She will be a Kindergartner next year. Clark will start Preschool next year, which he couldn't be happier about. Cody and Jacqui will have their last day on Wednesday.

Rob is doing well. He recently had carpal tunnel surgery on his left hand. It went well, but it's a long recovery. He's still in some pain, and he still doesn't have full use of his hand. He is supposed to have his right hand done in July or August, and that one will more than likely be a lot harder because he is right-handed. We'll just take it one day at a time.

Well, that's all for now. :)